That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
