By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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