Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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