walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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