She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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