Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
