I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
