i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
sex in a hospital.. check
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
