i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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