Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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