i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
