Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
