how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
