i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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