I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
