I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
