the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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