There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So many bounce houses so little time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
