How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
