We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
