OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
