i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
