Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
