last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
