he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
