Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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