He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
