I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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