Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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