So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
