started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
