Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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