i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
