YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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