Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
