this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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