omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
