I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
