Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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