i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
