Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
