I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
