i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
