Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
