I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
