Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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