I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
