I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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