I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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