I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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